Asexual Healing
by seriousish
Summary: If Stats wants to make a sex tape, it stands to reason she'll have to lose her virginity. Stats X Voodoo.


"Is that an eyeball?" Voodoo asked, though her senses were confirming to her that yes, it was absolutely an eyeball. It even had that new eyeball smell.

"Yeah!" Bryan said, as enthusiastic about disembodied body parts as he was about just about everything. "An eagle actually plucked it out of this guy's head, he had to get an eyepatch, Hank said it reminded him of a Greek myth. Anyway, it was lying on the ground too long for them to put it back in, so I got it."

"Oh, _Bryan_!" Still clutching the eyeball in its jar, Voodoo leaned across the couch and wrapped Bryan up in a hug. "You're the best."

"You hug? I didn't know you hugged—"

"I'm asexual, not a—I still hug. Just only with clothes on." Voodoo broke away from him. "This isn't making you want to masturbate, is it?"

"No!"

"Because I'm aware of how people are about boobs and my boobs were technically touching you, so—"

"I don't wanna masturbate—" Bryan pinched his lips shut. "Any more than usual," he burst out. As always, unable to dissemble. "Which isn't much! And a lot less than other guys!"

"That's fair," Voodoo says. "When someone likes pineapple on their pizza, I don't judge them for how often they get pineapple pizza."

"You think sex is like pineapple pizza?"

"Well, no—I dislike pineapple, and the physical sensation of sex is alright. Or, at least, I imagine it would be. Masturbation being pretty cool, you know. It's more like mushrooms. They don't ruin a pizza, but I don't see what they add."

"That sounds very accurate," Bryan confessed. "But I still don't get it."

Voodoo took up admiring the eye again. It looked like it was trying to blink. "Look, Bryan, it's not wrong that you wanna touch someone's boobs and masturbate. It's normal. Seems like I get a lot of paramedic calls about that going bad, but who am I to judge? It just sucks that you don't have someone who wants you to touch her boobs. I guess I kinda screwed you over there, letting you date me when I knew the boob thing was going to be an issue."

"I feel like we're overdoing it on the word 'boobs.'"

"It's very polite of you, but don't change the subject. If it weren't for me, you could be shacking up with someone else—touching her boobs all you want."

"In your defense, I never really thought I liked boobs all that much. Turns out I do! This is why all the best philosophers preach that self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom."

"Yeah, but—guy liking boobs? I shoulda seen that coming. I need to find out a way to make it up to you. You still like masturbating?"

"Only, like… half as much as Johnny. He has a ranking system…"

"How do you feel about lesbians?" Voodoo interrupted.

"I support and respect their right to be happy and safe in whatever way they see fit—"

"I meant in your pornography."

Bryan's mouth briefly hung open. "I… well, when I do watch pornography, which isn't often, I suppose I enjoy watching two women as much as I like one woman. Not twice as much, like you'd think—"

"Lesbian pornography, yes or no?"

"Is it weird that I care whether it's realistic or not? Like, if they have long fingernails, I just cannot buy them as being lesbians—or, more accurately, bisexuals, since they'll usually have sex with men as well. I guess maybe they didn't expect to meet another attractive, compatible woman and so they let their nails grow long, since they were only expecting to be having sexual encounters with guys—"

"Is this going anywhere near a yes?"

"It is," Bryan admitted suddenly, "I like lesbian pornography, I know scissoring isn't a thing and I watch it anyway…"

Voodoo stood. "Okay, good. I'm gonna try to knock out two birds with one stone."

* * *

"Hey, Stats, still wanna lose your virginity?"

Stats looked out of the back of the ambulance in mild surprise. "It's on the backburner. They finally released Space: Above &amp; Beyond on Blu-Ray. I'm marathoning that when I'm not working."

"How open are you to lesbian sex?"

"The usual amount. She has to be _at least _as feminine as Kristen Stewart. And her fingernails have to be short."

"Alright, good. Meet me at my place after work. Bring your video camera. Oh, you're open to making a sex tape, right?"

"I'd want to wear some sort of mask, but I would probably be doing that anyway."

In the driver's seat, Cash concentrated on his turn signal. "Why can't you ever have these conversations in private?"

* * *

In Voodoo's apartment, she gave her bedroom a last check to make sure all her paraphernalia had been removed. She knew that sexual people had to be in a certain mood to reach and enjoy orgasm, and some of her collectibles weren't conductive to that, even with someone as cool as Stats.

Stats came in finding Voodoo already undressing. Voodoo had a slender body, athletic and trim with exercise, almost callously attractive with its pale skin, her hips and breasts blooming out from her body with a garden's serenity, neither excessive nor unnoticeable, just presenting themselves with casual curves. Her nipples were an incongruous, shocking pink, her golden tuft of pubic hair professionally shaven, her muscles just visible when she exerted herself opening up the drawer on her dresser. Stats watched—Voodoo was pleased to say quite avidly.

The harness she'd bought, Voodoo stepped into. The other dildos were already hers; Voodoo was very pleased to have saved money by buying a harness compatible with sex toys she already owned.

"Which one would you like?"

Stats' brow furrowed. "I want big, but not _too _big. Bigger than six inches. Not too much bigger. Like, a black guy, but—a funny black guy, you know?"

"Kevin Hart's dick."

"Yeah."

Voodoo selected the seven-incher, screwing it into the harness. "Okay. Get naked."

"We're going with strap-on?"

"I thought Bryan would like it better, since he's a guy, to see me doing you like a guy. Oh, I'm going to be showing it to him."

"Is he paying you?"

"No."

"Because if he's paying you I want a cut. Sixty percent, at least?"

"He's not paying me. And fifty-fifty would be more fair."

"I'm the one losing my virginity."

"…good point. Lie down on the bed. While naked. You're not naked right now."

Stats pulled at her uniform. She'd come over straight from work, so while she couldn't tempt Voodoo with expensive lingerie or an elegant evening gown, the relief from undoing her bra was palpable. Voodoo gave her a cursory inspection, more pleased than displeased with what she saw, then nodded to the bed. She paid more attention to making sure the camera was rolling.

Stats' own body seemed to follow the example of the top all the way down: brown. Her nipples were brown. Her freckles were brown. Her tan, rebelliously, was white as alabaster. She made Voodoo look like a Nubian goddess. Her hips were narrow and her breasts were subtle, waves at sea, not even the modest handfuls Voodoo had been gifted with. Stats wasn't ashamed of her body, but privately, she did not consider it a great mystery why she had graduated medical school before losing her V-card.

"So. First time having sex. Nervous?"

"A little bit. I guess I always thought—"

"That's dumb. It's just sex. Your body's designed for it. Plus, I have lube." Voodoo picked up a jar, showing Stats the label like she was a TV pitchman.

"You're not just going to shove it in there, are you?"

"No. _Lube."_

"I would like more than lube. I would like some kissing and the fondling of my breasts and mouth-to-genital contact." Stats nodded to herself. "All the classic bases preceding penetration."

"Are you sure? They're not much."

"You've tried?"

"In college. Let a guy fuck me. Turned out I wasn't missing much. He had a good time at least. Spread your legs."

Stats did, wondering whether she should've shaved her pussy. Did Voodoo care one way or another? Maybe shaving it would make her look like a slut. But not shaving it seemed low-maintenance. If someone was taking her virginity, Stats at least wanted them to think her pussy looked nice.

The strap-on waggling at her groin, Voodoo crawled over Stats, hands and knees on the mattress around her. "What are you doing?" Stats asked.

"Kissing you," Voodoo replied.

She hovered over Stats, admiring the flatness of her taut stomach as she kissed her way down it. The taste of her sweat had a piquancy to it that she enjoyed as well, licking into Stats' navel, then down to the hair of her pussy, tamping it down with her saliva. Her tongue flirted with her budding clitoris; Voodoo was interested in how effective her technique could be. She progressed things slowly and steadily, not feeling much drive beyond her own interest. When she drove her tongue into Stats, all she satisfied in herself was curiosity.

"Take it from me," Stats whimpered, her limber voice rattling from her mouth in a way Voodoo found very interesting.

"You're sweet," Voodoo noted, as she used her fingers to usher Stats' labia open.

She eased her head closer to the flash of pink she exposed, intrigued by seeing another woman's vagina so close. Stats' lips were thicker than hers, as if swollen. Voodoo ran her tongue down them. Stats kicked and moaned. Voodoo opened her wider. She gave what had been hidden another kiss. And as her tongue worked, she ran her hands over Stats' inner thighs, the soft cheeks of her ass, enjoying the feel of the flesh in an aesthetic way. It was very nice to the touch. Probably lowered her stress considerably.

"I want you—" Stats shook. "—to use your tongue like a penis. Pretend it's a penis. Fuck me with it."

Voodoo shrugged at Stats. Seemed as good a suggestion at any. She stuck her tongue in as far as it would go. Stats seemed to enjoy it. Voodoo wondered if it was just the oral action or if it was from telling someone what to do. Stats had always seemed a bit kinky—not that there were many who didn't seem kinky to her, wanting to put genitals in their mouths and whatnot.

"You're really wet," Voodoo said, withdrawing her tongue to breathe. Thoughtfully, she stimulated Stats with her fingers as she spoke. "Something make you horny?"

"You told me you were going to take my virginity. My panties have been dripping all day."

"Oh. Weird. Does anything else I say make you horny? That would be really odd."

"No, just you offering to have sex with me."

"Okay. Good. Gonna bite your clit now."

"_Oh fuck!" _

Stats went wild, spinning out of the hold Voodoo had on her and shoving Voodoo down on her back instead, mounting her face, now standing over the blonde as Voodoo laid with her head and shoulders on the bed. Voodoo took it in stride, licking dead center at her pussy. It felt good. Very good. Stats could think of a few boyfriends who she would enjoy telling that an asexual could get her off better than them.

Voodoo reached around Stats' ass, drawing her pussy closer, using her fingers on the bottom of Stats' cunt as her tongue tickled the top. Stats gave in to Voodoo's pointed tongue like there was nothing else in the world, fucking up and down on it, wanting it all the way inside her. But Voodoo kept teasing, licking all around the outside before going back to the center.

"Does your come taste different than your juices? I'd like to know," Voodoo said coolly.

"Put your finger in my ass! You'll find out!"

Voodoo saw no reason not to. Stats gave every impression of wanting to smother Voodoo in her pussy, rubbing it into Voodoo's face as her own contorted with ecstatic passion. A thousand charges went off in her mind and Stats reached an orgasm that was like floating on a waterbed as it was rocked by enormous waves. Her moans and sighs were of complete satisfaction.

"More, Voodoo, more!"

Voodoo tossed her onto the bed, twisted on top of her, held the strap-on in her hand. "That's what this is for," she said, slapping it against either of Stats' inner thighs. "Are you sure you want it? Me popping your cherry when I don't give a shit about it? Or do you get off on that?"

Stats looked up at her, teeth clenched, voice hissing between them. "Don't do this to me. Don't you dare. _Fuck me."_

"Don't you dare fuck me?"

"_Don't tease. _Fuck me!"

"Just so we're clear," Voodoo said. She reached down to Stats' labia, spreading it with her hands, opening it as wide as possible with a clinical disinterest. Her main concern was not hurting Stats, so long as she was fucking her. Stats watched breathlessly, though, aroused by the perverse mingling of Voodoo's professional demeanor and the kinky act she was undertaking. Voodoo aimed the cock at Stats' virginity. With a quick wink to Stats, she hit her target.

With the first powerful thrust, Stats screamed, not in pain and not in pleasure either. She didn't know what it was. Only that it was more intense than she'd ever imagined.

It quickly sorted itself out, like a Venn diagram, pain overlaid on pleasure. The pain added to the fun. With her virginity taken, Voodoo surged into Stats, the resistance grinding the base of the dildo against her pussy, a nice bit of feedback to put a smile on Voodoo's face as she tested how deep and how hard she could fuck Stats' once-virgin sex.

"That feels so good, it's so good, I love it! Fuck me!" Stats moaned as she threw her legs around Voodoo's waist, giving herself even more fully over to the dildo Voodoo was using on her.

The weight and heft of the dildo inside her turned her on more than anything else ever had. It felt even better than she had dreamed, spectacular with the masterful, domineering way Voodoo mechanically rutted into her, practically ignoring her even as she got her off. Wiggling her slender hips, Stats tried to get more of the cock inside her. Whenever she felt full, she just had to look and see that there was still more to go inside her. And she would take it. She wanted it all.

"Glad you're enjoying yourself," Voodoo said, a little amused grin glowing down as Stats' entire body shivered with the deep-seated impacts.

Stats forced her legs higher, up from Voodoo's waist and onto the blonde's shoulders, folding herself up at a 90 degree angle to give Voodoo full access to her. And she moaned. It kept feeling better, _much better, _but still never enough. She felt like she'd never get enough of that dildo. Not even when she came.

"Oh fuck, I'm there, I'm there!" she cried with shocked excitement, feeling herself clamp down on the strap-on with unexpected strength. It was like her body was trying to break it off and keep it inside her.

"Wow," Voodoo noted dispassionately. "Kegels?"

"Fuck me harder! I love it! It feels good!"

"Yeah, I'm getting that." Voodoo moved in small circles, her stroke already practiced and familiar, an efficient routine designed to get Stats off as quickly as possible. It amazed Voodoo how a little coordination could make such a difference.

"Ahhhhhh!" Stats cried, driving her ass up to force her tight pussy up against the rigid dildo invading it. Her breasts jiggled now with the force running through them. Voodoo saw them and wondered what would happen if—

She lowered her head and brought her mouth to one of Stats' breasts, letting her nipple enter it. Then she sucked. Tongued the little rosebud. She tried licking more, sucking more—it all seemed to work on Stats.

"Yes, fuck my nipples! Fuck them!" Stats moaned.

Voodoo decided she might as well. She supposed she should show some appreciation for Stats saving her cherry for her. She'd been the only one to ever break Stats' hymen. It made her feel surprisingly powerful. Like getting to use the defib paddles.

Stats' entire body was trembling, shuddering with the impact of Voodoo slamming into her. It only made her want more. Especially when Voodoo sank her sharp teeth into Stats' breast, the brunette crying out in pain, screaming in pleasure. Voodoo went to her other tit, not biting it, just sucking and licking, pushing the nipple to a hungry hardness, then going back to her left breast, gnashing her teeth in it as hard as she dared. Tears filled Stats' eyes.

"I love it! All of it! Fuck me and bite my tits and fuck me hard!" Stats demanded, writhing on the bed as her frenzy of lust became something else, an immensity crashing through her, squeezing down on the dildo at the center of it. She was somewhere else, someone else, underwater, everything muted and blurred in comparison to the sharp, sweet thing she felt at her core.

Now that she'd made Stats come, Voodoo stopped even trying to hold back. She grunted with effort, forcing herself into Stats' tight, spasming cunt, consumed with how every thrust she made intensified Stats' orgasm. She slid her hands under Stats' quivering ass, lifting it up and fucking her cock into it, completely filling Stats' pussy. Stats came again, dizzy with the force of her orgasm.

Voodoo pulled out of her, surprised with how her dildo was now copiously dripping. She wasn't that wet after she masturbated. Maybe it was a lesbian thing.

"Voodoo, my ass—"

"What about it?"

"You didn't fuck my ass. I'm a virgin in my ass but not my pussy. It's really bothering me, Voodoo. It's bothering me in the Aspergers."

"So… sit on a lawn dart or something."

"Voodoo, you can't fuck me in the vagina but not the ass, okay, we're not high schoolers."

Voodoo rolled her eyes. "_Fine. _Turn over. On your stomach."

Stats did, in two quarter-turns. First, rolling onto her side, then flopping over onto her belly. Her ass was flat and small, petite, aesthetic. Voodoo ran a hand over it. Not bad to the touch.

Kneeling beside her, Voodoo massaged her neck and shoulders. There was tension there, but Voodoo felt it slowly leaving. Chased away with every flexing finger.

"Voodoo…" Stats said, oddly gentle.

"If I'm going to take your anal virginity, I'm doing it right. Shut."

Voodoo's hands smoothed down her spine, over the ellipse of her ass. Stats' body almost stiffened again, but Voodoo kept caressing her, chasing her hesitancy away, and Stats relaxed. Settled down. Voodoo squeezed and molded her buttocks, pushing them together, opening them up, watching them achieve a sort of deliciousness in their elasticity. Voodoo leaned down and nipped at a quivering cheek. Pinched different bits of it between her teeth.

Stats bit her lip, shuffled her feet in the air, trying to fight off the sensation of being _chewed. _Voodoo lapped under the slope of one buttock. Up and across her anus, leaving Stats with a twitch. Then Voodoo spread the cheeks apart, ran her tongue over Stats' perineum, tasting the juices that had fled there when Voodoo fucked her pussy.

Her tongue moved higher. Flitted with the pinpoint of Stats' anus. Stats moaned and Voodoo kept at it, teasing the hole open, butterflying around the rim until Stats was moaning constantly, unable to take any more. Then Voodoo poked inside. Her pointed tongue was accepted instantly. Stats sounded louder than ever. A shrill, high noise.

Voodoo pulled back, appraising her prize with an intellectual curiosity. Stats' hole was red and ready. Below it, her pussy tightened in contrast. Voodoo put her fingers there, two of them, sucked right in. Stats exploded, a wet-warm feeling in the palm of Voodoo's hand. She wiped it off on the bed.

"You really go off."

"I can't help it," Stats exclaimed. "You're a really good dom."

"Oh. I'm a dom now." Voodoo rolled her eyes. "I don't even like having sex and you're making me Fifty Shades of Grey."

Stats suddenly felt something very hard in the crease of her ass. It felt like the dildo had in her vagina, but bigger. Far bigger. Its thick head pressing hard against her. Lubricant cold as ice. Stats wiggled her ass, stimulated by her own feeling of need. A new place deep inside her was throbbing, aching to be filled.

Voodoo twisted the dildo, pushing it, driving it. It didn't seem like it would go in, but as if mocking her, Stats felt her body taking it. She clutched the flesh of her inner thighs, hands tight and hard, mouth stretched open, eyes wide, pussy clenching, all of her body opening and shutting, nervous as it gave in.

The dildo went deeper and deeper. Buried itself in her more and more fully, and her body just kept taking it until there was no more. Before Stats knew it, the dildo was embedded in her. She was completely full.

"Voodoo, what… happening…?" Stats' mouth gaped, words happening to come out. She almost couldn't understand what had happened; couldn't quite believe it.

"I'm fucking your ass and you're letting me," Voodoo said. "You took it real easy. It's kinda aesthetic, really. Seeing you stretched around a dildo. Pretty."

Stats was panting, more in shock than in discomfort. She loved it. The heft of being filled. She wiggled about, testing the weight of the dildo filling her. It was like she'd been stretched as far as she could go, right to the breaking point, and hadn't torn. She'd been impaled without dying. The feeling grew and grew, so intense that she nearly passed out.

Seeing her surrender, Voodoo grabbed her hips, used the leverage to thrust hard into her ass. Around the chill of the dildo, Stats felt Voodoo's warm flesh pressing against her thighs. She felt her climax building again. Her vocabulary became only what Voodoo could do to her.

"Oh yes, more, fuck me, fuck my asshole, fuck me deep and hard and never stop!" She reached down between her legs, her cunt embracing the stiff fingers she gave it. She wanted to come. She wanted to come more than she'd ever wanted anything in her entire life. She fingerfucked herself as Voodoo slid the dildo in and out of her ass.

"Fuck you," Voodoo muttered. "Fuck you…" She unstrapped the harness, undid the dildo from around her waist, managed to part with it and kept it thrusting with her hand, into and out of Stats' asshole, now kneeling down behind her to watch it slip back and forth. She kissed Stats' ass. Licked it. Bit it while she fucked it.

With the dildo fucking her asshole, her own fingers in her cunt, it took Stats less than a minute to reach orgasm. Her hips rocked, her head tossed deliriously from side to side as she felt luscious spasms flow up her body, become screams flowing out her throat. She shook and trembled, convulsed and jerked. Her eyes rolled back and her toes clenched. Her body sucked hard at its invaders, testing the denseness of the hard dildo, the length of her penetrating fingers.

"Don't stop!" Stats begged. "Don't stop!"

Voodoo didn't. She liked the noises Stats was making. It was almost like… pain.

She twisted Stats around, over onto her back, pulling her wet hand from her pussy and bringing it to the dildo between her ass cheeks. "Fuck yourself," she ordered Stats, and the woman's chin trembled as she obeyed. Voodoo's slender fingers crawled up every trembling inch of Stats' thighs, cupping themselves to the sides of Stats' hips. Her touch was fervent, skilled, as she neatly positioned Stats to her own liking, then lowered her face to Stats' cunt. She ate greedily as Stats ass-fucked herself.

She had to admit, she liked the taste of Stats' cunt. It had a certain sweetness to it. An acquired taste, to be sure, but if it weren't attached to someone's genitalia, she would've considered it a bit of a treat. Her own sex was beginning to moisten, oddly enough, as if it were being touched when Voodoo hadn't laid a finger on it. She wondered how it would feel to have someone licking it. After all, she had done the same for Stats…

And Stats reveled in every little nuance of her experience, every sensation she got from being sodomized and eaten out. She stroked herself in sync to Voodoo's clever little mouth, so it seemed like the blonde was doing a dozen wonderful things to her body at once. She thought she would come again. She had to come again.

Voodoo's arms and legs were aching from the fucking she was giving Stats. She was about to ask if they could take a break when Stats began to gasp and whimper, one continuous stream of them that seemed to have a life of her own. Her asshole tightened fiercely around the dildo. Her cunt shook against Voodoo's tongue.

"I'm coming!" Stats moaned, somewhat unnecessarily.

Again, her head flew from side to side, her body undulated. Her cunt clutched at Voodoo's kiss, her asshole sucked at the dildo twisting and plunging inside her. Then she slumped back against the mattress, her body full of pleasure, her head full of stars. Of their own accord, her hips fired her pussy against Voodoo's loving face until the fires had died away inside her, dimming to a glowing spark deep in her belly. Then she pulled herself gently away from Voodoo.

The other woman's face was glossy and wet, her smile coy and unconscious. "Not bad," Voodoo husked. She pulled the dildo out of Stats for her. "You're telling me you have trouble finding a date?"

"This isn't usually how I flirt." Stats seemed to collapse deeper and deeper into the mattress. "You know, I'm still a mouth virgin."

"Jesus," Voodoo said as she climbed onto the bed to straddle her face.

* * *

"Sex is like watching Twelve Years A Slave?" Theresa demanded, her glass of wine now well and truly ignored.

"Well, yeah," Voodoo said. "It was an important experience, I'm glad I went through it so I can understand where this different group of people are coming from, but—I don't think I'll be doing it again. No offense, Stats, but if I orgasm on my own, it's less awkward."

"Is this about the cuddling?" Stats asked, staring pointedly at her own glass of wine.

"It's a little about the cuddling."


End file.
